Single Blog

The difference between mental toughness and weakness is one thing:

Believing.

Simply put.

Actually, believING.

Why the ING?

Have you ever felt confident one moment and defeated the next?

Believing (AKA confidence) requires an ongoing renewing on a moment by moment basis because at any moment, someone or something or some situation will try to steal your believing.

If you can be confident for one moment, just one moment, you can be confident every moment. Confidence is a choice. At least for the mature athlete.

Lately with clients, I have been focusing on the concept of RUBBERIZING one’s confidence.

When you think of the properties of rubber, what comes to mind? Bouncy, durable, strong, dampens vibration, tear resistant, water resistant, cold resistant, flexible, expands, retracts.

Yes, rubber does indeed have its own setbacks too, like heat and oil.

But, for the sake of this example, my goal with clients has been to help them rubberize their confidence so that when adversity hits, they can bounce back quickly or let the setback(s) slide right off . . . like water on rubber.

If you were to hold a piece of rubber in one hand and a glass vase in the other and drop them, they would have very different outcomes.

Confidence can be rubber or it can be glass or somewhere in between. It’s up to you how fragile or strong your confidence is going to be.

Here’s an example of my work with a client in our efforts to rubberize her confidence.

First, I asked this athlete what are 3 current confidence killers:

Tough Competition
Coaches Opinions
Playing Time

Next, I shared with this athlete that these confidence killers are quite common, to reassure her that she are not alone in allowing her confidence to be hindered by these.

Then, we let the rubberizing begin by peeling back the layers on her confidence killers:

Confidence Killer #1: Tough Competition

I shared a story with this athlete about a time I was speaking to a middle school basketball team minutes before they were to compete verse a team they had lost to the previous week by a large margin.

The team I was speaking to was listening intently until the opposing team walked right behind me entering the gym. Eyeballs that were trained on me were now transfixed on the imposing competition that was clearly taller and stronger and had just ran up the score a week prior.

So, once I got the team’s attention back on me, I shared with them, “Those kids walking into the gym might be tall and might be strong, but, mentally who knows where they’re at. They might be mental ‘midgets’ (yes i know this isn’t PC these days but this was several years ago and at the time it was okay within the context). Anyways, it got the point across and a few laughs (which is a great sign of relaxation which leads to confidence).

Here’s what point I was trying to make:

We give our competition too much credit! THEY ARE HUMAN JUST LIKE US.

In order to rubberize our confidence, we need to understand that the opponent will make mistakes. They will think negative thoughts. They will get tired. They will feel pressure. They will doubt themselves. THEY ARE HUMAN!

Knowing this alone should build confidence. Next, we discussed how boring it would be to play competition way inferior to us. We talked about if we were in a gym and lifting weights that were way too light, it would not help us build muscle. Yet, if we were to challenge our bodies with a heavy weight . . . it would cause our muscles to grow.

Similarly, when we face competition at our ability level or a little better, it causes us to grow. It might be a bit scary, just like lifting heavier weights, but it shows us what the next progression looks like. It causes us to raise our game. So, crave better competition.

If the athlete truly wants to excel in their sport . . . they need to want to face better competition.

Rubberization complete.

Confidence Killer #2: Coaches Opinions

With High School Spring Sports tryouts a month away (2020) I’ve been checking in with several athletes and they are pretty nervous because they don’t know what they’re coaches will think of them.

To that I tell them . . . “Are your coaches opinions in or outside your control? Outside. Are they within your influence? Yes. What would be more beneficial to focus on . . . what your coach thinks of you or how you can best stand out by focusing on your strengths?”

Most coaches aren’t going to openly discuss how they feel or think about a player. So, in order to rubberize your confidence in this area, I challenge you to stop allowing a coach’s opinion (which you truly don’t know anyway) to steal your focus from performing at your best in the moment.

If you want to influence his opinion, play to your strengths. If you are a great communicator, communicate on the field better than anyone. If you have above average speed, excel in those drills. That way, you give yourself the best chance of influencing the coaches opinion in a positive way.

I promise you, if you allow your focus to be stolen by what coach is thinking, you are likely only setting yourself up to fail and give the coach the opportunity to form a poor opinion of you.

Stay in your lane. Control what’s in your control.

Rubberization complete.

Confidence Killer #3: Playing Time

This killer piggybacks on #2. Playing time is always a hot topic and my answer is three-fold

Playing time is within your influence . . . but many factors make it outside your control:

Older more established players in your position (seniority).
You aren’t as good as the athlete playing your position.
Coach doesn’t trust you enough yet (maybe hasn’t seen you play enough).
Politics (sadly, this does exist in some cases).

Your mission as the athlete is to control the things in your control like your attitude (instead of complaining to anyone who will listen), and learning from the athletes ahead of you to speed up your learning curve, and approach the coach regarding how you can earn playing time (you’re already not getting the amount of time you want . . . so what’s the worst that can happen?).

When you are clear on what you need to do to improve, then, attack it like it’s your job. Because it is your job. Then, . . .

Make the coach’s decision as difficult as possible every single day

Make every day a one-day contract where you earn your keep. Leave it all out there each time you step on the field.

Finally, one of my favorite nuggets: YOU ARE ONLY EVER ONE PLAY FROM BEING A STARTER. PREPARE LIKE ONE.

Be patient. Be hungry.

Rubberization Complete.

So, there are some ideas on how to flip the script on some confidence killers in order to rubberize your confidence rather than allow it to stay as fragile as glass.

Remember, the difference between the mentally tough and mentally weak is believing. One moment at a time. Anyone can believe in their abilities when things are going well. Can you do it when the rubber meets the road? Lame. I know.

Dedicated to your thought life . . .

Ray

Hey wait! Here are a few things to consider:

Click on the button below to check out some of my mental game books to prep for the upcoming season. I especially recommend the 21 Hours to mental power handbook to build awareness on every mental game topic under the sun.

Amazon Mental Game Books/Journals

SAVE THE DATE: Saturday, Feb 1st, 4-6PM @ Sequoia Christian Church in Redwood City, Ca.

I will be presenting on the mental game in prep for Spring Sports and Tryouts. Learn confidence building strategies to get the most out of your ability. Presentation will be from 4:30-5:30. Bring a notebook and a pen. I will also make several books available for purchase. Free for everyone.

SPRING SPORT MENTORSHIP PROGRAM! Runs from February through May as a way for athletes to have a mental check-in each week to maintain confidence, trouble-shoot adversity, vent frustrations and share the victories they are experiencing throughout the season. I started this program last year and it was an incredible experience for both myself and the athletes that participated.

Related: how much hail damage to total a car, qsc kw153 vs jbl srx835p, central phenix city football radio station, is latex floor levelling compound waterproof, terahertz therapy side effects, fundamentos de metodologia científica 8 edição pdf, should i take chlorophyll on an empty stomach, armstrong and getty divorce 2021, masonic distress signal in court, carbon nation tribe, sarah in scottish gaelic, mamas and papas flip xt rain cover, 954595, laurent delahousse oeil de verre, wapakoneta football coaching staff,Related: iqbal khan ubs wife, state the factors that influence climate in liberia, dahon ng alagaw benefits, famous temples in mandya, noree victoria sister, savina sordi morte, macy’s market segmentation, sid steiner wife jamie, reflection about teacher as a person, lewis campbell obituary near hamburg, bayside conference soccer standings, paradise peak sweet riesling, fizzics replacement parts, joe swash son harry special needs, sonic forces infinite without mask,Related: shooting in harvey, il today, montana state university graduation 2021, troy youth basketball league, sveltekit is not a valid ssr component, afqt category 2 jobs air force, roast pork with gravy recipe hawaii, youth wrestling rankings 2022, ancc renewal requirements 2021, jugos para eliminar fibroadenomas, jenny johnson husband cancer, recent murders in riverside, ca, used beretta silver pigeon sporting, bastiat society wichita, giorgi’s method of analysis steps, jimmy finkelstein net worth,Related: prussia is an army with a state quote, stanley mosk courthouse department directory, best astro a40 tr mixamp settings for music, best facelift doctors in florida, what languages does vladimir putin speak, sarah sanders glass eye, john cena is proud to be albanian, lacera investment officer, edilizia convenzionata parma, nashua school district assistant superintendent, is paul mccrane a nice guy, wiradjuri totem animal, smartless podcast commercials, funeral homes for sale in pittsburgh, pa, adam yenser net worth,Related: sid rosenberg wife pics, brawl in the family simpsons script, winchester, va indictments 2022, grassfields rice pilaf recipe, government current events for high school students, jessica cadwalader cause of death, jennifer ertman autopsy photos, greenwich hospital internal medicine current residents, srilankan airlines 24 hours customer care, mx+b calculator table, mark sadowski obituary, clarence kahlig net worth, shooting in aloha oregon today, tremblement soudain de tout le corps, trader vic’s salad dressing,Related: what happened to ryan upchurch, southridge fontana crime, regal crocker park showtimes, aiken county police scanner codes, whole foods cheesecake recipe, perry funeral home el dorado, ar, plant a tree in memory florida, best lineman camps in texas, relationship between food and beverage and other departments, notice of intent to serve subpoena pennsylvania, what happens if your condo building is condemned, qiangda investments & economics, salaire joueur sm caen, simon farnaby mighty boosh characters, jamie o’sullivan actor,Related: the most powerful country in the world, who says grace at a wedding reception, pressure relief valves can only be installed how, wilson county clerk vehicle registration, how does ukvi verify bank statements, skyward comal isd login, symbolism in superman and me, apartments for rent angola, new york craigslist, how to unblock someone on minecraft bedrock, andrea mowry daughter hospital, male full body waxing in hyderabad, vicious biscuit franchise, montreal airport customs wait time, willie randolph wife gretchen, ashland university women’s basketball coach,Related: tarrant county police scanner, pamplona capital management leadership, taylor morrison warranty coverage, wardell poochie” fouse pictures, summer lacrosse teams in georgia, kentucky swimming top times, david strickland cause of death, motorcycle accident on 131 today, morrisons contract of employment, can you wear a cowboy hat without boots, limestone county sheriff election, avengers x dying reader, what does elijah judd do for a living, cdr@yardi utility billing, pathfinder boat forum,Related: copper sulfate and sodium hydroxide physical or chemical change, how to stop faja from rolling up thighs, catholic retreat topics, happy new year, charlie brown transcript, wandsworth council environmental health contact number, blue french bulldog puppies victoria, organic chemistry lecture notes ppt, indra nooyi brother nandu, red light therapy histamine intolerance, hangzhou population in 1235, supernatural creatures, peach og strain ethos, african hair braiding los angeles, michael bridges net worth, james kilts’ greenwich, ct,Related: pga dfs picks golf digest, best american gifts to take overseas, supported independent living vacancies brisbane, olive view hospital medical records, hobby lobby welcome sign, othonna capensis toxic to dogs, ward 9 furness general hospital, noticias univision 34 atlanta de hoy, , pixie hollow fairies personality types, justins’ house of bourbon single barrel, did anyone ever escape from the ohio state reformatory, benefits of soho house membership, , long beach oktoberfest 2022,Related: mich rogers manhattan beach, can you play phasmophobia solo, another term for self concept is quizlet, hookah lounge los angeles downtown, michael hutchence girlfriends, yuba county five crime scene photos, illinois masonic radiology department, michigan high school football predictions, fremont parks and rec baseball, f2 visa approval chances 2020, arc pickup williamson county, rivian interview process, motivational bulletin board ideas for school, knowledge without character bible verse, benton county, mn jail roster,Related: usdt trc20 trust wallet, python exit program if condition, what is distribution coefficient in solvent extraction, press waffle co net worth 2021, can gallbladder cause post nasal drip, bamford diffuser sale, private landlords no credit checks charlotte, nc, racing helmet radio communication, how many ps5 have been sold in australia, used mobile homes hattiesburg, ms, maricopa county court case search, craigslist mobile homes for rent tucson, az, brian cross obituary 2021, alan gratzer restaurant, booked on the bayou jefferson parish,Related: does todd mcshay have cancer, citizenship interview chicago address, viking disease and life expectancy, vertuccio revere, ma obituary, who were the kings of israel in order, eurostar change booking, wv dhhr rent assistance, emma berman ethnicity, apartments for rent in marion, il, clark county schools ky staff directory, is graco car seat compatible with uppababy vista, korea quarantine facility food, la maison de aubusson perfume vanilla and orange blossom, bumble travel mode after 7 days, fishing lakes in northern ireland,Related: casas baratas en fresno california 93706, corinthian funeral home corinth, ms obituaries, mark anderson actor mash, tresemme shampoo ph level, philippa tuttiett married herself, drew tate vista, distribuidores de alimentos en estados unidos, miguel morales top chef down syndrome, surgical glue still on after 2 weeks, benenden school famous alumni, upcoming housing lotteries in ma 2022, john deere differential lock problems, foods to avoid while taking cellcept, is it legal to own a sword in australia, seattle ferry terminal to seatac light rail,Related: significado de sirviente en la biblia, how to install fienza toilet, how to curl a bob haircut with flat iron, ohio obituaries this week, julie grant measurements, how much was adele paid for skyfall, justin giovinco wrestling, miniature schnauzer puppies for sale in springfield, il, does kucoin report to irs, acc basketball referees list, what are three methods for analyzing nature, kentucky state police officers list, poulan pro 50cc chainsaw factory carb settings, eclife gaming chair parts, loutfy mansour wife,Related: delaford park sid james house, stevie ray vaughan net worth at death, pestel analysis of semiconductor industry, is egging a car illegal in california, jim plunkett parents blind, sophie duker north london collegiate school, static play unblocked fnf mods, who was gabrielle stone husband, characters in stranger in the lifeboat, , mariam abdulrab parents, catalina club wrigley food menu, how to ask for estimated time of completion, harry potter raised by bellatrix and narcissa fanfiction, bertucci funeral home,Related: tusd key control office address, wisconsin state wrestling 2022 results, ocean view funeral home obituaries, wheely games unblocked no flash, robert williams’ death, abbey springs resort real estate, detroit police department downtown, what is the relationship between decoding and encoding, incidente camion puglia, essex police wanted list 2020, nursing skills fair games, del mar terrace apartments shooting, police incident in surbiton today, why is there a chicken wing shortage 2022, how to get rid of ants in guinea pig cage,Related: nogales border crossing time, i peeled my sunburn and now it’s pink, trial in front of judges of a court crossword clue, shaq mother passed away, british road services fleet list, river dragons baseball roster, david j stewart obituary, veronica montelongo engaged to john morales, erik anderson topgolf net worth, daffy duck voice generator, green bay packers board of directors salaries, royal marsden private breast clinic, david fitzpatrick death tasmania, do school bus drivers get paid in the summer, jersey mike’s australia closed,Related: how to use verifly app american airlines, carl betz wife, casas manuel bank repossessions, runtz disposable vape pen 1000mg not working, suburban quadrasteer for sale, jasper county, missouri assessor property search, veterans football east london, why did simon hobbs leave cnbc, best freshman dorm at coastal carolina, aluminum patio covers do it yourself, who is sunshine wright married to now, what finger do you wear a military ring on, recent drug busts in fargo, nd 2021, strengths and weaknesses of gibbs’ reflective cycle, nurse or teacher quiz,Related: ex police range rovers for sale, fatal car accident in el paso, tx 2021, places to stop between brisbane and bundaberg, state requirements for intensive outpatient program, mesa, az weather 30 day forecast, ross funeral home obituaries, the big sunday show fox news hosts, does my chevrolet app work without onstar, commander, navy region southeast address, excel bay boats in rough water, when do beagles stop growing, goshen police news today, david hull psychologist, was martha plimpton ever married, the belly guide rapid pregnancy,Related: spark plug socket autozone, stuffy nose after kissing, spyderco paramilitary 2 exclusive, double oak lake, driver: san francisco, alien hippie camp gta 5, how to enable ssd in bios msi, mgb fuel pump replacement, who makes autolite spark plugs, virginia beach 4th of july 2021, webcam naples 5th avenue, babbel hack mod apk, 604 act form pdf, jib candyland, the trove necrotic gnome,Related: hobby lobby tukwila opening date, how to fix mushy noodles in soup, accident on 380 pa today, eg america payroll login, cheryl scott dancing with the stars, yeovil college staff list, brazoria county sheriff’s office non emergency number, chicago university master science in analytics, trust format for client yahoo, kirkland purified water ph, contract pilot daily rates 2021, george winston ear surgery, cobb county jail mugshots, ryan’s world dad speech impediment, other words for baddie slang,Related: can’t help myself robot dies, long beach oktoberfest 2022, ojos locos shooting, wedding packages sydney, 3 letter words from tremor, treaty oak old fashioned cocktail, tn state park winter discounts, aries appearance female, browning safari bolt action rifle serial numbers, neck and shoulder pain after quitting smoking, mahalia jackson estate heirs, salt lake city airport sleep pods, 1978 st john’s baseball roster, natomas sacramento zip code, most profitable crops in pakistan,Related: stars of death edibles uk, ethiopian military salary, ted kaczynski journal, is he confused or stringing me along, how to restart an edpuzzle as a student hack, dickson county tn jail commissary, stay dangerous urban dictionary, pastor billy burke schedule, schuchard elementary staff, tulsa basketball roster 2021, engineering schools with wrestling programs, real estate forecast next 5 years california, dr david anders wife, jill, jones hill dorchester crime, 1976 open championship leaderboard,Related: what happened to living proof prime style extender, juanita buschkoetter hastings, hittrax user manual, how to turn on a cancer woman sexually, warframe war within repeat bug, a child in hiding readworks answer key, randy moss college stats, carle doctors accepting new patients, $30 million net worth lifestyle, lutheran crusaders basketball, sektor ng serbisyo suliranin at solusyon, milano almond tile 12×12, pulaski day parade 2020, difference between living things and non living things, the octoroon summary,Related: what do swedish guys find attractive, baby yoda zoom background video, can you play tiny town on ps4, minecraft angle generator, acceptable forms of id for colorado dispensaries, what did rodney king died of, stuart miller son, morgan ortagus parents, does dijon mustard have dairy, countries that have banned shock collars, how many times was jimmy stewart married, alisa camplin husband, hartford lacrosse 2022, persuasive speech about covid pandemic, river valley ingredients cuthbert georgia,Related: list of repossession forwarding companies, michigan 12th congressional district 2022, ferrari atelier vs tailor made, bryan russell actor, congressional black caucus events 2022, sda church board meeting agenda, ups package stuck in koeln, germany, city of glendale pool regulations, clements twins ethnicity, chautauqua county pistol permit, food truck commissary bay area, blair paysinger twin brother, emily herren lee travis wedding registry, impact networking lawsuit, chicago tribute bands near me,Related: tensorflow audio noise reduction, biggest high school football stadium in tennessee, harry potter prophecy, kaanapali beach shark attacks, credit cards that don’t care about inquiries, suffolk county homeless shelters, bernard baruch grandchildren, state of decay 2 jugs of ethanol location, practical aesthetics exercises, farmer funeral home ayden, nc obituaries, harvard swimming coaches, hickory farms whiskey sour hard candy, ted nugent mathews bow, ap coordinator manual, part 2, ryan nassif sierra egan,Related: bondurant family tree, denver airport southwest terminal map, police incident desborough today, jenkins nested stages, printable wizard card game score sheet pdf, $70,000 a year is how much a month, poetry project high school, northeastern honors housing, xenon clinic death, bolt ventures david blitzer, is finland a high or low context culture, when did 14 days to flatten the curve start, who did texas western lose to in 1966, what has been filmed at stourhead, cyprus car import tax calculator,Related: lithuanian holiday recipes, brightline engineer salary, microneedling orange peel skin, avoiding someone you hurt, retreat centers in alabama, ready to assemble pool deck kits, alabama state tax refund status, why is my neck temperature higher than forehead, giorgi’s method of analysis steps, sarasota memorial hospital menu, accidente en las vegas nevada hoy, seduction cosmetics deaths 2021, bernadette taylor obituary, is kath loughnan married, westchester county section 8 payment standards,Related: desert vista football, maidstone town centre live camera, jayden daniels 40 yard dash, penalty for lying about covid vaccine eligibility, silas greek mythology, dess dior and future spotted together, scorpio woman magnetic aura, when was interracial marriage legalized in the uk, completar complete the chart with the correct verb forms quizlet, john krueger obituary, product tester jobs from home no experience, html changes not reflecting in browser django, undue influence cases 2020, german shorthaired pointer albany ny, vine ripe spaghetti sauce pouches,Related: hells angels worcester ma clubhouse, do local police have jurisdiction in a post office, massage new orleans french quarter, ark admin command spawn argentavis saddle, how long does union pacific background check take, does mucinex make your vag smell, artwork that conveys the human emotion of pride, private label protein low moq, how much does it cost to run a ptac unit, mash margaret divorce, can you mix methanol and isopropyl alcohol, plymouth state university student death, sos certification penalty payment, veronica brownstein, in active transport quizlet,Related: mike mclaughlin obituary, mizzou quarterbacks over the years, alcorn state university 2022 football recruiting, ochlocknee, ga obituaries, moanalua valley trail deaths, signos compatibles con libra mujer, scott goggles sponsorship, are chance moore and kate hudson still together, lidl dulano sausages, waste management phoenix open tickets, fs19 elk mountain wyoming map, every chance i get music video models names, seacoast academy hockey tuition, where does convectional rainfall occur in australia, date a live spirit characters,Related: jessie buckley marina cassidy, save wizard cracked by calix, dive restaurant spielberg menu, wreck on 340 today elkton, va, damien echols son, consequences of false hardship withdrawal, big ten track and field championships 2022 outdoor, automatic reloading press for sale, derek quiet age 16 fell off knife edge on mt katahdin, cricket egg laying, riverview high school football coaching staff, what is ward 11 royal glamorgan hospital, best video player for live net tv on firestick, tiny homes for sale on smith lake, negative impacts of tourism in siargao,